Occupation: Parent Coach and Author
My Kids: Alec (18), Avery (15) Cory (10)
Visit randirubenstein.com and follow Randi on Facebook and Instagram.
Our mission at the Girls Leadership League is to contribute to more confident and sparkly girls ….
What advice would your big girl self-give your teen/tween self about confidence?
I would teach her the 1/3 Rule of Tribes by Coach Amy Pearson:
1/3 of the people are your peeps – they are your super fans with stars in their eyes for you.
1/3 of the people are your haters – no matter what you do to try and win them over, they simply refuse to like you.
1/3 of the people are indifferent towards you – they aren’t the ones starting a negative convo about you but they aren’t sticking up for you either.
Unfortunately, most girls constantly think about the 2/3 that will never be your 1/3 and as they say in yoga, where your attention goes, energy flows.
*I would teach my teen self that focusing 100% of my attention and energy on my 1/3 super fans will make me my best self…I only learned this like last year so ya, would have been nice to have known this 30 yrs. ago.
In my classes, we teach young girls to create a Friendship Recipe of traits they are looking for in a true friend. What characteristics would be in your friendship recipe?
When you feel like the smartest, prettiest, funniest version of yourself, make sure to look right and left at the friends sitting next to you during those moments. Those friends are the keepers because your body is letting you know that it feels safe and comfortable, thus bringing out the best in you. The body never lies and will let you know who is a friend and who is a frenemy.
We believe strong family values and consistency are important in creating confident kids …
What was one of your favorite family traditions from your childhood? What new traditions have you started with your own family?
Old family tradition – we weren’t very traditional but a fun ritual was playing a card game for quarters called 99.
New family tradition – We have played music in the kitchen since our kids were little as a fun way to lighten the mood during the late afternoon “witching hours” and a great alternative to TV or screens.
At the Girls Leadership League, we teach our girls the importance of accepting oneself even when you don’t feel so sparkly. How do you respond when you receive a compliment?
I usually say thank you and segue into a conversation – like where my shirt is from and how it was most likely a “deal” and it would look great on them too… resulting in diarrhea of the mouth as a poor attempt to take the focus off of me.
We believe pursuing a passion is a great way to build confidence for girls. If you had free time to pursue a “passion project” what would it be? (i.e. something outside your regular work and leisure activities like learning to knit, building a piece of furniture, etc.)
Honestly, I feel like my main job is mom and wife in the Rubenstein household and my parent coaching biz is my passion project…I could teach and help other parents all day, every day.
Social Media is now a fact of life. Social Media … Love it or Love Hating It?
I hate it more than I love it…however, I have embraced it as a way to start an important parenting convo as well as building a great virtual community. I’m especially loving FB Live. It feels authentic.
What do you do to help balance your digital life and you’re your “real life”? Any tips to share?
Yoga. Yoga. Yoga. I have an addicted brain and yoga has been so good for me – it’s a healthy addiction.
When you look out into the world, who do you see as great role models for girls?
Well my great role model, MTM (Mary Tyler Moore), may she rest in peace was the ultimate – God I loved that show! Seriously – Gloria Steinem is supremely smart, beautiful and paved the way for so much. I am a Hillary Clinton lover…not just a “tolerater”. I also love Ellen and Oprah. My daughter loves Taylor Swift and I like what she’s about and find her to be adorable and super talented as well.
We teach girls to embrace making mistakes. Can you think of a mistake that you made that led to great things – from learning something important to changing to a new direction in life?
I moved my oldest son in 3rd grade from a great public school to a small private school. It was a mistake but I spent the next 10 years getting involved and trying to clean up the school…I became the “resident expert” in a classroom management program to help the teachers stop yelling called Conscious Discipline. This program became the foundation for the way I would raise my kids and led me on a path as a conscious parenting coach and educator.
We see fear as normal and a sign that you are pushing yourself to grow. Do you have any tips for pushing through fear?
I like to envision what it feels like after I’ve faced the fear and accomplished the goal. This usually motivates me and puts me in a mindset to just go for it since I’ve already pictured the success.